


Bear Puns, Broccoli and a Poorly Defined Notion of Infinity

by SumDumMuffin



Series: Ruby Slippers: Babysitter AU [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Age Difference, Babysitter AU, Disability, F/F, Modern AU, Questionably Responsible Parenting, Sibling dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6340804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumDumMuffin/pseuds/SumDumMuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the babysitter meets the second mom and the oldest daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bear Puns, Broccoli and a Poorly Defined Notion of Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> RWBY and all associated characters are creations of Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum, may he rest in peace. 
> 
> Bears are, depending on where you live, recognized as being creations of either Evolution or God. 
> 
> Because I hate to mislead with tags; If you're here because of the the Summer/Raven tag, the situation is that Summer, Taiyang and Raven have an on-again off-again polyamorous It's Complicated, but Taiyang doesn't appear in this issue, so its just Summer and Raven interacting here. 
> 
> I guarantee no expertise in babysitting, math, children, the correct way to refer to LEGO brand interlocking construction blocks, bears, teenage anxieties, or siblings.
> 
> However, I am trying to be sensitive about disabilities without making them the defining aspect of a disabled character (even if Glynda here has a little trouble with it at first), and I hope I don't offend anyone. I recognize that some disabled readers might not find their experiences perfectly represented here, and I welcome any corrections.

Glynda found herself embarrassingly excited when she got the text, right after school, that meant she had a gig at the Rose household that very next day. Ozpin had smirked an untrustworthy smirk when Glynda asked to be put down as a regular sitter for the Rose residence and, hey, as a bonus, Glynda now had an excuse for when all the weird kids asked her to join their weird afterschool clubs.

As she pulled up to the immaculate house, and trudged up to the front door, Glynda took a moment to brush off her business dress and adjust her glasses and look professional.

And when she rang the doorbell and an unfamiliar voice beckoned her in, Glynda realized that she still hadn't done any background research on the family.

“Hello-” Glynda said as she opened the door.

Getting up from the couch, in a messy tank top and some pajama shorts, with a huge unkempt mop of black hair and armful of tattoos, was a tall, muscular woman. She rubbed her eyes and yawned a huge yawn.

“Shizz, is it 4:00 already?” she said, “I wanted to be early for this-”

She rubbed the rest of her face with the palm of her left hand and held out her right. “Hey, I'm Raven. I think I saw you asleep on our couch when Yang and I got home last night.”

“uhhh,” Glynda shook the offered hand. “Ok, Yeah. Nice to meet you.” Glynda glanced around. “So where's Summer?”

“Off saving lives, probably,” Raven smiled. “So I take it you're the babysitter Ruby wanted?”

“I- yes.” Glynda stated. “I hope so, I mean. If not, that means I have competition.”

Raven smirked a bit. She suddenly patted her pants and pulled out her wallet. “So do we negotiate price now or....”

“No, the service should have had that arranged.” Glynda said. She tapped her phone. “I was also told to tell people that we have an app now, because everyone does.”

“Oh, awesome.” Raven looked to the stairwell and pointed to Glynda and scrunched her face to the side. “So I need to get dressed for a job interview, brb.”

Glynda smiled as the adult left the room. Well, this was probably just as new and different and awkward as yesterday-

But then a familiar figure bounded out from the kitchen, in different leggings but the same oversized red hoodie she'd worn all day yesterday. Glynda smiled but didn't get the chance to say anything before her charge did.

“Glynda!” squeaked Ruby. She ran up and hugged her babysitter. She started climbing up the teenager and Glynda would only realize a minute later.

“Aw,” Glynda said as she rubbed Ruby's head. “Hello again-”

And then a child with a wild mop of blond hair skidded into the hallway.

She had one arm; her right one ended right above the elbow.

She had purple eyes and a recalcitrant grin and was wearing a t-shirt with a grown-up band on it.

She had one arm; Glynda could see some twists of ungrown fingers contorted at the edges of her stump.

She had one-

Glynda shook her head and made eye contact. “Oh. Um. hi.” She stopped herself from facepalming.

“So you're the babysitter,” The one-armed child chided, “I can't say I see what Ruby sees in you.”

“Uhh,” Glynda began. Then she realized she'd been insulted. “Hey! I'll have you know I'm slated to be valedictorian next year.”

“Uh-huh,” the blonde nodded condescendingly. “Anything else?”

Glynda would later lie awake in her bed remembering these words and have a little existential crisis, wondering if there was anything else important through which she defined her life. Now, she just said, “What do you care anyway? I'm still the babysitter.”

The blonde scrunched her face to the side. “I'm just wonderin' what my sis saw in ya. Ruby even bathed for today, and she'd just had a bath last month-”

“Yaaaannngg!” Ruby whined. Glynda turned to her charge, in left arm and realized that oh, she was carrying her now. When did that happen?

Ruby puffed out her cheek. “You can't tell her that!” she said to Yang. Then she turned back to Glynda, all evidence of her previous distress gone from her face. “Oh!” Ruby said, “Glynda, this is my sister, Yang!”

Yang held out her stump. “Yang Xiao-Long, pleased ta meecha.”

Glynda probably stared at the offered half-limb too long, before she took it and shook. “Um. Ok. Cool, yeah.”

Yang smirked mischievously. “Watcha staring at?”

“I-I just – I wasn't-” Glynda said, “It's just that you are the least Chinese-looking kid I have ever seen.”

Yang looked surprise. “Oh? I've never got that before.”

“So were you adopt-”

“I'M NOT ADOPTED!” Yang bellowed.

“Sorry!” Glynda said, “Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it-”

Yang's face instantly shifted back to her original mischievous grin. “'s 'k. So the deal is; Raven's _my_ mom, and Summer's _Ruby's_ mom, but now both of them are both our moms.”

Glynda cleared her throat.

Two women getting married-

Well, re-married. Of course. They had kids from their previous relationship, and brought them with them into the new one when they-

Wow. Two women getting married-

Of course, Glynda wasn't going to judge or anything- not for grown-ups doing their grown-up best to follow their hearts, but still, two women-

Glynda cleared her throat again, and realized that both her charges were staring at her expectantly. Glynda decided not to ask any followup questions about their family life.

“So how old are you?” Glynda asked Yang, “Ten?”

“Ten and 485/876th.” Yang smiled triumphantly. She tucked her hand under her stump.

And then Raven walked back into the room, in a business casual blouse and skirt (not as well dressed as Glynda, but still a grand improvement over her first impression), her posture a little more professional and her hair a little less messy. That was apparently the cue for Ruby to extract herself from Glynda's arm and follow Yang out of the room. When Yang walked, every third or so step was a tiny hop with both feet that landed with a loud ground-shaking impact.

Raven rubbed Yang's head as the child ran past. She then turned to speak to Glynda.

“Uh,” Raven said, scratching behind her head and looking at the wall. “I know we just met, but I can't help but notice that your car is reasonably nice...”

“You mean my '04 Honda Accord?” Glynda tilted her head to the side. Nobody every complimented her about her parent's old car (though Raven's compliment had been qualified, so maybe she could count it just as a half-compliment), and she had been hoping her previous internship would let her get one of the fancy ones the company was working on.

“I mean, I drive a van and it's kind of a mess, and I kind of want to make a good impression today-” Raven said.

Yang reentered the room, skidded to a halt in between them. “Mom!” she said, jingling some keys in her hand, “You can borrow our extra car!”

Relief blanketed Raven's face. “Oh, sweet.” She turned to Glynda and smiled, "Never-mind what I just said.”

Raven turned to Yang and knelt down and gave a big hug to her daughter.

“You can do it mom,” Yang said, eyes closed and arm wrapped around her mother's shoulders, “I believe in you!”

“Aww,” Raven ruffled Yang's head. Yang smiled from ear to ear with closed eyes. “And always remember, I believe in you too."

“Transitive property of belief, yes.”

They giggled.

Raven stood up and nodded one last time to Glynda. She opened the door and, right before she left, she gave a salute to Ruby. Ruby returned it.

The door creaked closed.

“So,” Glynda said, “What do you want to do for the next,” Glynda checked her watch, “Five hours and forty five minutes?”

“Ohh ooh!” Yang said, “Since she's not here, let's go explore my mom's van!”

“Nooo!” Ruby said, shaking Glynda as best her little arms could. “Glynda doesn’t want to look at your mom's weird weeaboo shizz, Yang!” Ruby said.

“Yeah, well, _you're_ weird,” Yang stuck her tongue out at her sister.

“No _you're_ weird!”

“You're weird times infinity!”

Ruby's face devolved into a wobbly-mouthed cry before Glynda patted her charge's head to calm her down.

Ruby looked up at Glynda, eyes sparkling, “We're supposed to play blocks together! C'mon!”

Ruby pulled on Glynda's arm.

“What about Yang?”

“She does stuff on her own all the time,” Ruby said. She was now leaned at 45 degrees from the ground, pulling on Glynda's arm with all her weight. Glynda had shifted her feet to hold her charge up.

“I'd feel better if I was actually supervising her,” Glynda said.

Ruby pouted but relented, and they set up in Ruby's bedroom. Glynda hung her formal coat along a nearby chair, and Yang brought a teddy bear and a book and sat in the corner, seemingly contented. She occasionally glanced at Glynda and Ruby as they set up various Lego brand interlocking block constructions.

 

 

 

 

 

 _General Glynda surveyed her troops. Her crusade against the fiendish rogue Sankt-Kaiser Rose was continuing; her troop disposition had switched out, as a force composed of airborn wizard children_ _,_ _ewoks, and_ _treasure hunters (from both the original series and the recent reboot)_ _and would be better equipped to manage during this assault-_

_-into a magical forest/jungle that had, like, six different types of trees that grew in mutually exclusive climates. But once the General secured this land, its forage-able bounty of coconuts, chocolate, pine cones and Christmas presents would sustain her troops for the next few forays into the Sankt-Kaiser's territory._

_The Kaiser herself still had her custom harvester, which had been upgraded with immunity shields and air-conditioning, and was accompanied with her elite force of Imperial walkers and mining equipment and, as always, the firetruck (to prevent forest fires, probably), prepared to 'scorched earth' the forest if they were to lose. Glynda would have to strategically choose her targets in the initial foray or any victory she might earn would turn out Pyrrhic...._

 

 

_General Glynda's last wizard child managed to hit the Sankt-Kaiser's final AT-ST with a jelly-leg curse and topple it. Her adventurers stared down the Kaiser's last miners; It was down to the final duel- that would decide the fate of the jungle-_

_And then a bear appeared, sending the mecha and soviet-era jungle vehicles flying._

_“Groaaworahrawrr!” growled the bear._

 

 

“Yang!” Ruby said, her eyes bulging and her cheek puffed out, “You can't bring your dumb bears into our Lego war!”

“Can too!” Yang said, “Barry's a brown bear, and they live in the forest! Besides,” Yang stuck out her tongue, “Bears are the greatest!”

“No, bears are dumb!"

“ _You're_ dumb!”

“You're dumb times infinity!” Ruby said.

“You're dumb times the infinite sum of all numbers between zero and infinity!”

Ruby's face started to devolve into a teary, wobbly-mouthed cry but then shifted into an angry expression. Ruby stood up and waddled over and picked up the bear by the head threw it against the wall.

“Hey!” Yang got up and shoved Ruby.

Ruby fell backwards, her bottom hitting to the ground with a resounding thump.

There was a horrible moment of silence, and then Ruby's face devolved into tears and mucus, then she started crying that piercing child's cry.

Glynda rushed over and tucked Ruby into her elbow and sang an impromptu song to sooth her charge.

Or at least, she sang the best soothing song she could come up with on the spot. She mostly said 'please stop crying' to various tunes and cadences until the crying child did so.

Ruby ran out of sobs and just looked forlornly at Glynda for a moment.

Glynda cleared her throat and looked at the problem sister. “Yang,” Glynda said, “That was not appropriate.”

“She threw Barry Baker Bear!”

“You should have used your words,” Glynda said.

“Fine!” Yang said, “You're dumb, Ruby!"

“No you're dumb!” Ruby said, curling up in Glynda's arms.

Glynda cleared her throat again, thus time louder. “I meant, you should have said something constructive about your feelings.”

Yang tucked her hand under her armpit. “Ruby's not doing that.”

“You're the older sister.” Glynda said with her eyes closed. “How old did you say you are you again?"

“Ten and 1213/2190. ” Yang mumbled.

“And Ruby's only Eight and a half.”

“Eight and 2623/4380...” Yang mumbled.

“See you're almost two years older than her,” Glynda said, “So you should be the one to realize how your actions affect other people."

Yang grumbled, and then walked up to the pair.

“You really hurt my feelings Ruby,” Yang mumbled.

Ruby mumbled something as well.

Glynda turned to the child in her lap. “So do you accept her apology, Ruby?”

“I guess.” Ruby pouted.

“Hey,” Glynda said, rocking her knee a little to jostle the girl she was holding, “I think Yang put her bear in our fight because she's feeling a little left out. How about we find something you both want to do?”

Ruby wiped her last few tears on the wrists of her oversized hoodie and nodded reluctantly.

 

 

 

Yang led the group into her bedroom, and Glynda mused that if Ruby's bedroom was a LEGO brand interlocking construction brick museum, Yang's was one for bears.

There were several bookshelves with books with bears on them, and there were posters of various cartoon bears, and there was a mattress leaned sideways against the wall, with a small circle of blankets with eight or nine or eleven huge bears, which apparently was what Yang used as a bed.

And also, like, a gazillion stuffed animal bears lying around just wherever. Yang started picking them up and introducing them to Glynda. There was Flopsy, who lost his leg in a motorcyle accident, and Bearbera, who was deaf from birth, and Browbear, who was a thalidomide baby, and Grizzback, who was paralyzed from the waste down, and Beartoldt, who had polio.

“And this is Barry Baker Bear's wife: Strawbarry.” Yang hefted a bear with a cannula, “She has acute asthma. And their kids; Bluebarry, who has arrhythmia, and Boisenbarry, who has Multiple Sclerosiseseses, and Libarry, who's had Wernicke's aphasia.”

“So uh,” Glynda said, looking at the stuffed animal Yang had brought into Ruby's room, “What's wron- I mean! What's _different_ about Barry the Baker Bear?”

Yang looked askance twice and leaned in, beckoning Glynda to do so as well.

“He has lung cancer, but we don't talk about it,” Yang whispered.

Oh. Ahahaa. Glynda looked closer and saw three green dots on the bear's chest.

“Thanks for introducing me to all your friends,” Glynda said.

Yang smiled her biggest smile. “Yeah! They're beary pleased to meet you too!”

Glynda groaned, but only on the inside.

Ruby was in the corner looking only slightly cross.

“Ruby, did you want to meet all of the bears?” Glynda said

Ruby tucked her hands into her armpits. “I already met them.”

Ahaha.

Glynda looked around the room. One of the few non-bear themed items in the room was a punching bag.

“Yeah,” Yang said when asked about it, “Raven thinks it'd be a good idea to join Braziallian Jiu Jitsu when I get to sixth grade, because there's some other people with missing limbs doing it and the local gym doesn't hold anyone back.”

“Oh, ok, cool.” Glynda said. She figeted for a moment and weighed her curiosity against her self-image of a perfectly polite babysitter. “So, uh, is it okay if I ask about your arm?”

Ruby looked mortified from her corner, but Yang just smirked and exhaled quickly through her nose.

“Birth defect,” Yang said and shrugged, “It doesn't really affect me, except sometimes I have trouble opening things and need to use my teeth to tie knots and buttons on clothes are hard I can't play some musical instruments and I can't count to six.” Yang smiled her biggest smile.

“Oh. Ok. Yeah.” Glynda said. "Wait-,"

“Raven made friends with various prosthesiseseses when she played around the country, but I don't like any of the arms she got me.”

“I'm sure Raven is trying her best for you,” Glynda said.

“Yeah, she's the best!” Yang said, “She buys me bear paraphernalia (bearaphernalia!) whenever she can,” She said smugly, “She also got me a collection of bear cartoons, we can watch some if you want!” Yang pointed her stump at one side of the bookcases.

Glynda walked up to it and inspected the collection; there was _Brother Bear, Polar Bear Cafe_ _Seasons 1-2_ , _Kung Fu Panda 2_ , _Care Bears 2: A New Generation_ , _Pooh_ _'s Grand Adventure: the Search for Christopher Robin_ , _Yurikuma Arashi_ , _Vinni Pukh,_ and _We Bare Bears,_ _Season 1_.

“I also have some live action stuff too, for when I'm feeling growed up.” Yang said.

In the live action section, there was _Paddington_ , _Ted_ , _Grizz_ _l_ _y_ , and _Failed WWII Science_ _Experiments_ _Vol. 6: Russian Ballistic Para-trooping Bears_.

“And Raven gets me books too! Ruby reads them to me sometimes,” Yang said. She pointed to the book section.

Glynda ran her hands along the spines of several really nice looking books; with fancy covers and stuff; a copy of the original _Winnie the Pooh,_ an illustrated _Goldilocks and the Three Bears,_ and also _The Princess and Mister Whiffle,_ and _Beowulf._

 _“_ Why do you have a Nordic saga here?” Glynda said, “Wasn't Beowulf like a wolf guy-”

“ _No,”_ Yang said, suddenly exasperated, “'Beowulf' means bear! It's a- a- Ruby, what was it?”

“A 'kenning',” Ruby said, suddenly in lecture mode again, “It's a figurative compound word commonly found in norse and anglo-saxton poetry. 'Beowulf' translates as 'bee-wolf', which is a wolf that eats bees; a bear.”

“Yeah,” Yang stuck her tongue out, “Beowulf isn't a wolf, silly.”

“Unless it's, like, a wolf that literally eats bees. Or some Moreau-ian bee/wolf hybrid,” Ruby mumbled.

“Oh. Ok.”

Glynda glanced towards Ruby, who was still pouting in the corner with her arms crossed and staring at the wall and not offering to play with anything.

Glynda sat down on a chair and picked up the nearest bear; the bear who had polio but wanted to be a dancer, what did Yang name him?

The stuffed animal was just the right size for Glynda to put a hand around each of its arms and then squish the fluff to make it flail its arms wildly, or press the back of the bears neck to make its head nod up or down.

Glynda made the bear dance, making a series of 'da ta da' noises under her breath as she did. Later, she'd be really embarrassed about it, but for the ten or so minutes she did so, she helped the bear dance and Ruby and Yang looked on in complete wonder.

Glynda concluded the bear's dance and made its arms flop in an elaborate bow. Ruby and Yang applauded. Glynda was afraid she'd have to do something else to break the awkward silence but then Ruby walked up to her sister.

“Sorry I left you out of the Lego battle, sis,” Ruby mumbled.

Yang grinned an accepting grin. “Eh. Bears are better anyways.”

Ruby narrowed her eyes. “You wanna bet?”

 

 

 

 

 _General Glynda and Sankt-Kaiser Ruby nodded_ _solemnly_ _at each other. They decided to put aside their differences for just this campaign-_

_To launch a crippling blitzkrieg against the brutish Barbearian (Bearbearian?) invasion that threatened them both, and to take out the Bear Grand Vizier (Grand Vizi-bear?) Yang Xaio-Long._

“'Vizier' is only two syllables,” Glynda said.

Yang stuck her tongue out. “But the pun only works if I pronounce it Viz-i- _ier._

Yang had procured a pair of bear ears and a bear glove for her hand. 

“I guess I figured you'd want to be the bear princess,” Glynda said.

“Naw,” Ruby said, “We have a friend whoze claimed priority as princess in all our make-believe games.”

“But she's not here right now,” Glynda pointed out.

Ruby and Yang shared a look. “It'd still feel weird,” Yang said.

Glynda shrugged.

_Currently, they were deep in Bear Kingdom territory; low on troops but high in spirit. Glynda could only bring a few wizard children and treasure hunters, while Sank-Kaiser Ruby had her firetruck and mechs and her personal combine harvester, but she feared its laser and mustard immunity would serve redundant against their foes; the Bearserkers, the Cybears, the Bearatroopers, and, most deadly of all, the Paratrooping Cybearserkers._

_“I'll give you a chance to surrender,” The Grand Vizier said, hefting her arm-cannon, “Before things get too.... grizzly.”_

 

 

 

 

_After a long fight with massive casualties on both sides (bear carcasses lay amid shattered blocks and bisected minifigs), General Glynda and Sankt-Kaiser Ruby had cornered the Bear Vizier herself._

_“Surrender, Grand Vizi-bear,” the General said, “Or the Kaiser will vaporize your remaining bears!”_

_“We of plush will never bow before the plastic! Do your worst!”_

_“Then I give the order, Kaiser,” Glynda lowered her sabre at their mutual enemy._

_“I'm sorry, my dear,” the Sankt-Kaiser said to the General, “But you know what they say about love and war.”_

_And then Ruby’s army fired on Glynda._

 

 

“Ruby!” Glynda said, “You can't switch sides in the middle of a battle!

Yang hid her giggles under her fingertips. Ruby was standing up on the nearby bed, fists on her hips, laughing triumphantly. “Sure I can! It's opportunistic treason; once you're weakened, I sweep in and eliminate both my enemies! Ahahahahaha!”

Ruby continued to laugh manically. Glynda bit her cheek as her cheeks reddened in indignation.

Glynda jumped into a tackle. She was careful to grab her charge's head first and hold it steady to prevent any whiplash during the crash. Glynda twisted so that she'd break Ruby's fall and held her charge in her grip.

Ruby squeaked and was still for just a moment before she laughed and struggled and utterly failed to escape from Glynda's grasp.

“Yang!” Glynda said from the ground. Yang stood at attention. “Finishing move: Tickle attack!”

“Yes ma'am!” Yang said. She ran up to her sister and poked the youngest girl's stomach.

“No!” Ruby managed to say between laughs, equal parts mirth and horror, “Nooooooooooooo!”

Yang pulled up Ruby's hoodie and blew a resounding raspberry on her sister's stomach. Ruby squealed some more, and eventually the three of them were laughing too hard to do anything but laugh even harder.

 

 

And then it was time for dinner. Which was good, because Glynda had just said 'bear' so many times it was beginning to lose its meaning in her head, and afterward had laughed so much her diaphragm felt sore.

Yang ran out the door and down the stairs immediately after dinner time was declared, and Glynda took the time to fix Ruby's hoodie and hair. Ruby smiled at her sheepishly.

Glynda carried Ruby to the kitchen and deposited her charge in a nearby chair. Yang was sitting in front of the box that shot microwaves at food, sitting on her stool the same way the lid sat on a kettle of boiling water; shakily, and for a moment every few seconds, not at all. The wild child kicked her legs and bounced and when the box beeped the blonde pulled out-

A large bowl of broccoli. Yang threw a stalk into her mouth.

“I love broccoli!” Yang cackled. She stuffed a stalk into her mouth and chewed it with her mouth open.

Ruby pouted. “Broccoli’s gross!”

“You just think that 'cause you're dumb!” Yang said amid bites. “Summer loves that I eat healthier than you!”

Ruby puffed up her cheek again. “Or you just like gross broccoli 'cause _you're_ gross!”

“No, _you're_ gross!'

“You're gross times the umm, infinite, uh” Ruby began.

“-sum of all numbers between-” Glynda helped.

“- all numbers between one and infinity!” Ruby finished triumphantly.

Without looking at each other, both of them still staring at Yang, Glynda and Ruby fist-bumped.

But Yang just smirked. “Well you're _both_ gross times the uncountably infinite sum of all real _and complex_ numbers between zero and infinity!”

Ruby's face devolved into a wobbly-mouthed cry again. Glynda resisted to urge to giggle.

Yang then started throwing broccoli at her sister.

Ruby ducked and ran behind her sitter. “Glynda save me!” she cried.

Glynda scrunched her face. “Ruby,” she began, as gently as she could. She patted Ruby's shoulder.  “Broccoli isn't that bad-”

“I've been betrayed!” Ruby jumped away. “This is for my actions at the battle of Bear Mountain, isn't it?” Ruby pouted. Some broccoli landed on her head.

“No-”

“Oh woe! Turnabout is true fair play!” And Ruby ran out of the room.

“Ahahahaha!” Yang grabbed the bowl of microwaved broccoli, tucking it between her stump and her side, and she ran after her sister, throwing pieces of vegetable after her.

“Don't play with your food!” Glynda yelled after them.

Ruby had pieces of broccoli in her hair as she ran out of eyesight.

Yang started running after her, but Glynda intercepted the older sister with an arm around the waist.

“What are you doing?” Glynda said, “I thought you were friends after the tickle fight?"

Yang stuck out her tongue. “We're sisters. We're perpetually in a superposition of 'BFF' and 'archnemisis' (archnemisisters!).”

Glynda made the most exasperated expression.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As it turned out, Ruby locked herself in the bathroom.

After knocking and trying the door, Glynda sat down, her back against the door. Yang was jumping around somewhere; Glynda could feel the thumping through the ground.

“Ruby,” Glynda said. She stuffed a stalk of broccoli in her mouth and chewed enough to talk normally. “Please come out. We're eating all the broccoli, so there won't be any left for you.”

“Are you done eating it all?”

Glynda looked at her bowl. “Not yet.”

“Then I'm staying here.” Ruby said through the door. Glynda could imagine Ruby's pout and folded arms.

“Well what happens if one of us has to use the bathroom?” Glynda asked.

There was a moment of silence.

“Do you have to use the bathroom _now?_ ”

Glynda paused chewing. The answer was; kind of.

“What happens if I say yes?” Glynda asked.

“Then Yang will show you the bathroom in the garage, or the master bedroom (even though we're not supposed to go in there).”

Glynda ate another stalk of her broccoli. Another thump resounded through the ground.

“Do you want to know what I do when I'm afraid of something?” she offered to the door.

“What?” Ruby's voice said, “But you're fearless! You killed the bedmonster!”

“Naw, bedmonsters are entry level challenges for teenagers,” Glynda said. She took a a breath, and almost reconsidered but didn't, and she confessed some of her fears- worries about her future, anxieties about her past. She worried that she wasn't close enough to the people that she called friends and maybe they were all just humoring her or that she wasn't empathetic enough, or that maybe they were just being friends with her because they wanted a link with someone who was likely to be successful. She worried she wasn't open enough about her feelings to make true friends, and that maybe she wasn't sure herself what she wanted out of life, and would never be happy because of such.

And her solution, Glynda said, was to think of the kind of person she wanted to be; someone who wouldn't be affected by what other people thought and hoped for the best in everyone, and try to be that person as best she could. And she asked if Ruby could try to do so as well.

Ruby opened the door. The parts around her eyes were still a little wet.

“I believe in your courage, Glynda,” Ruby said, “Taiyang always says that courage is not about not having fear, but facing it.”

“Oh,” Glynda said. She was about to ask a follow up question- like was 'Taiyang' Yang's full name? And if so, was Ruby short for like Rubillese or something- but then Ruby held out her hand.

“Gimme a broccoli,” Ruby mumbled.

She stared at the stalk and then with trembling fingers brought it to her mouth. She closed her eyes and placed the vegetable on her tongue and took a bite. She ground it with her teeth once, then twice, then three times, and then she swallowed and opened her eyes.

“Was that so bad?” Glynda said.

Ruby cogitated for a moment. “If I say 'no', do I have to eat more broccoli?”

Glynda chuckled.

 

 

Glynda brought Ruby and her empty bowl back to the kitchen. Yang had pulled out some potato wedges, and when Glynda looked in the fridge to get the milk for her charges, she saw the three microwave dinners that Raven had left out for them, with encouraging sticky-notes on some of them. Oh, so they were supposed to eat that stuff? Glynda shrugged; at least a little thought was given to what they'd eat tonight. Unlike last night, but eh.

“Can I have a cookie since I ate that broccoli?” Ruby asked with wide eyes. Glynda coughed and tried to resist.

“Nnnyeeeennn- ok fine, but just one.” Glynda turned to Yang. “Did you want one too?”

Yang tried to look like she was too adult to enjoy cookies, but then she shrugged. "I guess." 

So Glynda retrieved three cookies from the pantry, and the three of them enjoyed them with their milk. Glynda made the mistake of finishing hers too fast. Ruby and Yang laughed at her for it. 

 

 

 

And afterwards, they had some time to eat up before either of the moms got home. Glynda suggested the television, as it was the least exhausting activity she could think of.

“Ooh,” Yang said, “Ruby loves the World War II science dvd I have!”

“Yeah!” Ruby said.

“Uhh,” Glynda said. She rubbed the back of her head. “I kind of get enough of that at school, so...”

Ruby's eyes narrowed and she smirked a smug smirk. “Oh? I thought you would have grown up tastes.”

Glynda puffed out her cheek. “What I meant was- If you want to watch cartoons, then I guess I have no choice but to watch them with you.”

Ruby stared at Glynda for a second, then she laughed. “So let's watch cartoons!”

“Haha,” Yang said, “You two are babies." 

“ _You're_ a baby!” Ruby said.

Yang stuck out her tongue. “You're a baby times the infinite-”

“Oh yeah?” Glynda interjected, kneeling behind Ruby in solidarity, “ _You're_ a baby times the infinite sum of all real and complex numbers between _negative_ infinity and infinity!”

Yang stuck out her tongue. “Well joke's on you, because that's a telescoping sum of linked pairs that adds to zero.”

Ruby's face devolved into a wobbly-mouthed cry. Glynda opened and closed her mouth a few times. “I- I-”

“Babysitter says I'm zero baby, which makes me an adult!” Yang yelled triumphantly as she left the room.

“ _Glynda_ ,” Ruby whined and shook the teenager, “Why would you say that?”

“I didn't- I didn't mean to!” Glynda cried out to the ceiling. And Ozpin was convinced they'd never use math in real life. 

Ruby laughed though, and they set up some pillows and blankets on the couch while Yang retrieved one of her DVD's.

 

 

And then it was 10:00 PM. Glynda was starting to feel groggy now, because she hadn't had a lot of sleep the previous night.

Dr. Rose came in, startling the sitter to wakedness.

“Hello mommy!” Ruby said. She waved from Glynda's lap.

Summer froze for a moment, surveying the three people sitting on her couch watching cartoons.

“What are you doing here?” Summer asked Glynda.

“Uhh,” Glynda said. She moved Ruby off her lap and brushed herself off as she stood up. “Babysitting your kids?”

“What happened to Raven-”

“That's my name don't wear it out!” Raven yelled, suddenly sliding into the living room. “I thought that was your car I was following, Summy-”

Summer turned to the taller woman, her hands on her hips. “I thought you said you'd watch the kids today.”

“I did! Right before I had to go-”

“You left the kids alone?”

Raven pointed a finger up in front of her. “With their favorite babysitter. So win-win.”

“She's been here once!"

“So one for one,” Raven smirked.

Summer looked exasperated and she stepped into Raven's personal space. She stared down the black-haired woman, even though she only came up to Raven's shoulders.

“You're still so irresponsible!” Summer spat.

“Am not! I hired a babysitter."

“You said you'd watch the kids,” Summer said. Her eyes narrowed. “You _lied_ to me.”

Raven shrugged apologetically, “I'll make it up to you,” Raven said.

“Oh? How are-”

Raven leaned down and she touched Summer's chin to bring her mouth up and then she smooched the doctor, on the face.

Summer emitted a surprised sound and then closed her eyes and ran both her hand's through Raven's hair.

“Oh wow,” Glynda said. She turned to the wall and bit a knuckle.

“Go mom!” Yang said.

Ruby made some mumble sounds.

“So, uh-” Glynda turned back to where the two women were being... affectionate...

…

…

-Affectionate with each other, and she held out her finger, waiting for a good moment to interrupt.

It took a while.

But then Summer broke off from the kiss. Glynda almost got a word in.

“I'm not done with you yet,” Summer said to Raven, her face flushed and lips trembling.

And Ruby must have inherited her ability to jump into people's arms from her mother because Summer jumped into Raven's arms and started making out from the high ground this time, and Raven carried the smaller woman up the stairs and into the master bedroom.

Glynda tried to remember what she had been doing, before the two women started …

Well, it wasn't any of her business what the parents got up. If they were... smooching...

…

…

-Smooching or whatever! It was completely fine. Didn't affect Glynda at all. In fact, if they were going to be longer than they anticipated, she got paid more. Overtime, maybe, though maybe there was a legal requirement for that? She'd ask Ozpin about it.

“S-so,” the sitter turned to her charges. “I guess we can watch some more cartoons or something?”

Yang grinned mischievously. “Yeah, more bear cartoons! I've got one I think you'll like, Glynda,” She said with a tone of voice that matched her grin. She ran to her room to get a new dvd.

Ruby and Yang knew the theme song to this one, and they jumped into the living area to dance around as they did so. Then they adjourned to the couch.

“This is pretty funny,” Glynda commented, trying not to listen for sounds coming from up the stairs.

“Yeah, it's the second best bear cartoon originally based on a comic to premier in 2015,” Yang said, cuddling up with a pillow.

 

 

They got through four episodes of _We Bare Bears_ when noises from the stairway startled Glynda back to full wakefulness.

She extracted herself from the blankets and sleepy children and crept over to the kitchen and the recipient quiet, nighttime cooking noises and soft yellow light.

Summer was wearing the button-down shirt Raven had been wearing, and Raven was wearing some sort of kimono or yukata- or maybe just a Japanese-themed bathrobe. The two moms were drinking coffee, sending the occasional bashful glance or giggle to each other. Neither of them were wearing pants.

Below Glynda, Ruby and Yang appeared and were peaking into the kitchen as well.

The sitter decided to step into the kitchen, hesitantly, legs stiff and hands awkward. She cleared her throat. “So I hope it's not a bad time-”

“Ah shizz!” Summer sputtered, dribbling some coffee down her chin, “You're still here! I have kids!”

“Ah,” Glynda tried to figure out how to explain the concept of kids.

“Ruby!” Summer called.

Ruby ran into the room. Summer bent down to catch Ruby in a hug.

“I'm sorry,” Summer said, nuzzling her daughter's head, “Raven will be gone tomorrow so this won't happen again.”

“Actually, I, uh,” Raven said, “was actually wondering if I could move back in.” She took a sip from her coffee.

There was a moment of abject silence.

“WHAT.” Summer said. Ruby squeaked and stepped out of her mother's embrace.

“I- I just,” Raven raised her hand defensively, “Y'know, thought I could help out with Ruby and Yang-”

“Oh, so _now_ you want a family,” Summer shot. She stood up.

“Uh,” Raven flashed her teeth at the wall and rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah- that's what I'm getting at-”

“I distinctly remember you saying that 'kids were an albatross' and that you didn't want any.” Summer made air quotes with her fingers. “That's why you _left._ That's why I had to raise _your_ kid for nine years!

“I-”

“We're not in college anymore, Raven!” Summer yelled, “I can't- We can't keep doing this with you-”

Raven put her coffee down and put her hands up in a 'calm down' gesture. “I- I know what you're saying-"

“You're not responsible! I couldn't leave you alone with the kids for _one_ _afternoon_ without you bailing on them!”

“I know what you mean, yes, but I'm working on being responsible. I-I have a job now. A real one.” Raven gulped to steel herself. “And I have some money saved up, and I haven't gotten drunk in six weeks, and I've been clean for a year-

“OH GREAT,” Summer raised her hands and rolled her eyes. “Do that back in time eleven years and maybe _Yang would have two arms-_ ”

“You- That's not fair-”

“It's extremely fair, and that's why you don't like it.” Summer jabbed an accusing finger at Raven's chest, “Because you _left_ instead of sticking around to fix your mistake-”

“YANG'S NOT A MISTAKE!” Raven yelled, dropping her conciliatory demeanor.

Summer put a hand on her brow, “I didn't meant it like _that_ , you're twisting my words around-”

“A-Am I?” Raven said, her voice cracking slightly, “You- you know what Yang tells me? That she feels you treat Ruby better than her. That she doesn't think you respect her like you do with your _biological_ daughter!”

Doubt flickered across Summer's face. “T-that's not true.”

“Do you know she's being bullied at school?”

“That's,” Summer's face dropped an iota, “That's impossible-”

“How do you know?"

“How do _you_ know? You've been all over the country!"

“I keep in touch! And I'm here when I can be-”

“Oh, yeah,” Summer threw her hands up, “You get to stop by and be cool twice a year but when there's actual parenting that needs to be done you're off performing for the llama or other people _more important than your family_.”

“I'm just saying that maybe you haven't been as attentive to Yang as she needs-"

“YOU DON'T GET TO CRITICIZE MY PARENTING!” Summer yelled.

Raven winced and she ducked down a little, “I- I know, but I'm just saying I can- I can help out a little...."

Summer exhaled long and loud and placed her palms on her eyes.

Raven fell to her knees. “Please, Summy,” She tried to grab Summer's hand but Summer shook out of it. “I'm begging for forgiveness here-"

Summer closed her eyes and breathed. “I can't, Raven.”

“Please, just give me a chance-”

“I told you no!”

Yang suddenly jumped into the room. “Don't be mean to Raven!” she said. She ran up to Summer, her little fist balled and her face in tears. Her voice was pained and vulnerable and she was trying to punch Summer's legs. “She's trying her hardest-”

“Raven only ever broke mommy's heart!” Ruby yelled. She ran between her sister and her mother and tried to intercept Yang's ineffectual blows.

The two moms glanced around for a moment as their kids fought before Glynda walked in and separated them. The kids struggled for just a moment before they gave up and sulked.

“Ahaha,” Glynda said. She had no idea about anything.

“Ahaha,” said Raven.

“Uh," Summer said to Glynda, "Do you think you could get them changed and their teeth brushed?”

Oh. Teeth brushing. That was what she forgot yesterday.

“Are you going to stop fighting?” Yang said, wiping tears off her face.

Summer glanced at Raven. Raven smiled sheepishly. “I think we can have a nice long discussion.” Summer breathed. “I'll try not to lose my temper.”

Raven's face lit up. Glynda nodded and smiled awkardly at three or five things in the room and led two glum children to the bathroom. Summer and Raven never raised their voices loud enough to be overheard from there, so hopefully things were working out.

 

 

Yang utterly resisted Glynda's offers to uncap her toothpaste for her; Yang got it eventually. Ruby though took Glynda up on the offer, and Glynda felt questionably deserving of the praise and thanks she received for removing the cap to a tube of toothpaste (Which Glynda noticed with some amusement was cookie dough flavored).

But aside from that, both Ruby and Yang were very glum as they brushed the alphabet and later left to their respective rooms change into their pajamas.

They met up in Ruby's room afterwards. Yang managed to wring her hand in itself as she worried on the bed.

Glynda wondered whether she should tell her that it was okay if parents fought and that they'd end up realizing they loved each other. It certainly wasn't true all the time-

“It's not fair,” Yang said quietly. “Summer likes Ruby better, Uncle Qrow likes Ruby better, now even the babysitter likes Ruby better.” Her nose twitched. "And now Summer wants to kick out the only person who likes me better." 

Glynda was about to protest but, hmmm, it was sort of true.

Ruby looked on with her hands over her mouth and her eyes wide. “Is that really how you feel, Yang?”

Yang bit her lip and her eyes watered and eventually she nodded at the wall.

Ruby extracted herself from Glynda's arms and walked over to hug her sister.

“I'm sorry,” Ruby said. “I'll try harder to make sure everyone makes you feel special, and not in the bad kind of way.”

“Ok,” Yang hugged back. “Me too." 

“I love you, sis.” Ruby said. 

“I love you times infinity,” Yang said.

Ruby pouted and hugged harder. “I love you times the infinite sum of all real numbers between zero and infinity." 

Yang smirked. “Well joke's on you, because all uncountably infinite sums are considered equal in size.”

“ _What?”_ Glynda said, “So – so back when you- “

“Yeah, so we love each other equally?” Ruby puffed.

“No; I said mine first, so it has precedence in the temporal dimension.” Yang grinned.

Glynda was too tired to think of whether that made sense or not.

 

 

Summer and Raven came back from the upstairs. Yang froze in mortification. Ruby turned to Glynda for reassurance, but Glynda just shrugged and scrunched her face.

Summer walked in front of the trio and breathed in. “Ok, so Raven's moving back in. On probation,” she said.

Yang lit up. Ruby smiled at Yang's smile.

Glynda bit her cheek just a bit. “So I guess you won't be needing a babysitter then, with an extra person around and all....”

Summer opened her mouth but Raven said, “Well actually,-”

Summer shot a look at the taller woman. “ _Raven..._ ”

“It's an afternoon job,” Raven said at the wall, hand behind her head, “So I can pick the kids up from school if the district doesn't think my van's too suspicious but I'd have to leave soon after...”

Summer sighed loudly. Raven chuckled a bit.

“So how much do I owe you?” Summer said to Glynda.

Glynda tapped her phone a couple times. “Here's what the app says,” she handed it to Summer with a wince.

But Summer didn't even flinch, though Raven raised her eyebrows as she pulled out her own wallet.

Summer handed over a stack of bills-

And Raven did as well.

“What are you doing, Raven?” Summer said.

“What? She babysat my kid too." 

“ _Our_ kids,” Summer shot, and afterwards grinned. 

“Awww,” Raven hugged Summer. Summer pushed her away after a moment, but in a half-playful sort of way. Glynda blushed at the wall.

Glynda coughed. “So I guess it's goodbye for the night,” she said.

“Bye Glynda!” Ruby said, stifling a little yawn, “See you tomorrow?”

Glynda turned to the adults, who shrugged at each other.

“Yeah, we'll need a sitter then too,” Summer said.

Glynda smiled. “Ok then.”


End file.
